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Learn the secrets to becoming a full-time freelancer by taking these online classes

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Working from home is seriously the best. Why not do it full-time?

Don’t get us wrong. It can be hard to kickstart a professional freelancing career. Which is why you might need a little boost in the right directionThis set of online courses dedicated to professional freelancing offers some great tips and inspiration and is a good place to start.

Separately, these 11 courses would typically cost about $2,200, but you can get the whole bundle for only $29 for a limited time. Here’s a glimpse of the useful skills you’ll learn on your way to becoming a well-paid freelancer: Read more…

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The way a narcissist’s brain works can help unravel whether they mean to hurt their partners or not

woman mirrorAli Marel / Unsplash

  • Being in a relationship with a narcissist is hard work.
  • They are very insecure and sensitive people, which means they can take offence very easily.
  • This can end up in couples having the same arguments over and over again.
  • Sometimes they are unaware of being abusive to their partners, but other times they will genuinely want to cause them harm.
  • Ultimately, as their partner, you have to decide whether the hard work is worth it for you in the long run.

If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, you will have been through a roller-coaster of ups and downs.

At the beginning, everything would have been wonderful. You might have even thought you’d found your soul mate. But after a while, things started to go sour.

This is because after a few weeks, months, or even years, the narcissist will no longer see any value in you. As soon as they realise you are a real human being, and thus flawed, they struggle to see the use of you any more. They’ll start blaming you for things, shouting at you, or even break up with you, leaving you to try and work out what went wrong.

But for many reasons, it is hard to answer the question: “Do narcissists mean to hurt people?”

Narcissists get offended very easily

Elinor Greenberg, a therapist and author of the book “Borderline, Narcissistic, and Schizoid Adaptations: The Pursuit of Love, Admiration and Safety,” told Business Insider that narcissists are ultra-sensitive by definition.

“Narcissists are self-protective, and they have their antenna out for disrespect, or for someone taking something from them, and underneath they’re very insecure,” she said. “You have a whole range of people who are hyper-sensitive, lack empathy, for one reason or another, they don’t feel bad when you feel bad, so they can hurt you without realising it.”

Despite this, a narcissist’s own feelings can be hurt very easily. Because of their high sensitivity, any small thing their partner does can be seen as an attack, and any situation where they are not their partner’s focus is very difficult for them.

“For whatever reason, you’re seeing a person who is wildly insecure, and has no real inner confidence that they can depend on,” Greenberg said. “They depend on external validation.”

Without this constant validation by their partner, the narcissist isn’t getting what they want, and they end up seeking it elsewhere. This is why many narcissists often end up cheating.

In the heat of a moment, narcissists can come across incredibly cruel. They say things that many people would really struggle to say to someone they supposedly love. Greenberg said this is because of something called “object constancy.”

“Object constancy refers to the ability, if someone does something that disappoints you, to put that in the context of the whole relationship,” Greenberg said. “I may feel hurt and disappointed but I don’t hate you. You’re still the person who’s my dear friend, and it’s in context. If you don’t have object constancy, there is no context.”

In other words, the when the narcissist is shouting at you for whatever they think you did, there are no memories of the good times in their head. They are totally living in the single moment of being furious with you. In that moment, they truly hate you.

“There’s nothing holding it in context that limits it,” Greenberg explained. “So it goes from you were all good and a good person, to I hate you, you want to hurt me. You have hurt me, I must hurt you back.”

Even the smallest rows spiral out of control

Relationships are hard, even if you are with a non-narcissist. All couples have rows and have to navigate the various difficulties of living with another person. But those everyday spats become all the more serious and devastating to a relationship when the person you have them with always sees themselves as the victim. This makes even the tiniest disagreements escalate into full-blown rows, which can be incredibly exhausting for the narcissist’s partner.

“I see women, a number in my practice, who became extremely anxious and depressed, and their capacity to function diminished,” Greenberg said. “They had mental breakdowns, and one was delusional and paranoid, because the person just kept at them and at them, and they didn’t have the defences.”

Sometimes, the narcissist doesn’t mean to hurt you. Being sensitive to everything is just how their brains work. And if they are — by their own logic — being attacked, they will bite back even harder.

However, by their nature, they may also want to hurt you too, because it makes them feel superior.

Whether the relationship is worth it is up to you

In some ways, it isn’t worth working out what their intentions are because the results are the same. People in relationships with narcissists find themselves wrapped up in the same arguments time and time again. This is often followed by the punishment which could be an explosive confrontation, or cold silent treatment, depending on the type of narcissist they are with.

Greenberg has written an article that lays out the best way to approach a narcissist if you are in an argument with them. They think a completely different way, and so arguments have to be de-escalated differently too.

“Don’t expect an apology directly,” she explained. “Use ‘we’ language, and don’t ever ask them to process what happened — they can’t do that.”

Ultimately, it is draining to be in a relationship with a narcissist, and you have to accept the fact they will never empathise with your feelings, no matter how long you are together. Some may learn to be self-aware in time, and learn to notice when they are hurting you. But this still doesn’t guarantee they will care.

“Narcissists are primed to be abusive because they’re so hypersensitive, and they don’t have empathy, and they don’t have object constancy,” Greenberg said. “So they are primed to take offence and be abusive and not really understand… It’s a lot of work for the non-narcissistic mate.”

NOW WATCH: Meet the 18-year-old entrepreneur making a fortune selling rare sneakers to celebrities

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Which Type of Credit Cards Should You Use for Holiday Shopping in Singapore?

Tis the season (or nearly so) for Christmas presents, fancy parties and busted budgets. Singaporeans are known to spend more than a thousand dollars on Christmas gifts alone. Given this heightened level of spending, most of this expenditure will go on credit cards. One savvy step to reducing the impact of your holiday spending is […]

The post Which Type of Credit Cards Should You Use for Holiday Shopping in Singapore? appeared first on The New Savvy.

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Apple’s ‘I’m sorry’ for throttling old iPhones isn’t good enough for Congress

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The drama surrounding Apple’s old iPhone batteries isn’t over yet. 

Four U.S. House Republicans sent a letter to Apple CEO Tim Cook on Friday asking for answers on batterygate. 

In December, Apple admitted to throttling the speed of older iPhones to increase battery performance, a long-time conspiracy theory among iPhone users that turned out to be true. As a result, Apple issued an apology to its customers, and announced reduced pricing for out-of-warranty iPhone battery replacement, from $79 to $29. 

But the apology and explanation from the billion dollar company wasn’t enough for House Republicans, who want more answers on the subject, according to ReutersRead more…

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Find out how to launch your side hustle by taking this online class

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If you’re looking to make some extra money but can’t work any more overtime than you already are, a side hustle could be exactly what you’re looking for. 

With The Complete Side Hustle Bundle, learn how to make money by selling products online at places like ebay and Amazon over the course of 12 online classes you can take at your own pace.  Read more…

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Attention photographers: This wireless charging pad looks like a DSLR lens

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New year, new phone? Congratulations! Speaking of the new year, wire-powered charging is so 2017. Now that the new era of smartphones is here, it’s only right that you free yourself from the nuisances of cords and cables and embrace the wireless life. No more tripping over wires, no more untangling wires, and no more dealing with flimsy cables — wireless charging is what you deserve.

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Some of the most conservative congressmen are going all-out to fight for Trump against Mueller and the Russia investigation

Robert MuellerAlex Wong/Getty Images

  • President Donald Trump has gotten a huge boost from a handful of conservative House members in his quest to counter special counsel Robert Mueller’s Russia investigation.
  • Many of those congressmen are members of the conservative Freedom Caucus.
  • Freedom Caucus Chairman Mark Meadows told Business Insider that his members have taken the lead on battling Mueller because they have a disproportionate number of their members on a key committee.

While President Donald Trump has spent months seeking to delegitimize special counsel Robert Mueller’s probe, a small group of conservative congressmen has done much of the heavy lifting in combating the investigation.

There’s Republican Rep. Matt Gaetz of Florida, a freshman who is close to the Freedom Caucus and has led the right-wing charge to tear down the special counsel while focusing attention on 2016 Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton and the 2010 Uranium One deal that has garnered much attention in the conservative press. In November, he even helped introduce a high-profile resolution to remove Mueller from the investigation. And he was influential in the effort to call for a second special counsel to investigate Clinton.

Late last year, Gaetz accused Mueller and his team of staging a “coup d’etat” against Trump.

A representative for Gaetz did not return a request for comment from Business Insider.

Meanwhile, Freedom Caucus heavyweights like Reps. Jim Jordan, Mark Meadows, Ron DeSantis, Louie Gohmert, and others have taken aim at Mueller, Clinton, the FBI, the Department of Justice, Attorney General Jeff Sessions, and Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein, providing the White House with much-needed backup. They’ve taken aim at the probe in high-profile congressional hearings, held press conferences to criticize what they characterized as conflicts of interests among investigators working on the probe, and have reiterated some of the president’s favorite talking points, pointing to a “deep state” conspiracy.

Trump himself has taken notice. 

“Great congressmen, in particular, some of the congressmen have been unbelievable in pointing out what a witch hunt the whole thing is,” he told The New York Times last month.

Matt GaetzAP Photo/Steve CannonSome of the congressmen have been in touch with the administration to discuss the probe. Gaetz and DeSantis reportedly discussed the probe with Trump during an Air Force One flight last month. Asked in a CNN interview about whether he has discussed the probe with the administration, Jordan hinted that he talks with the White House “about all kinds of things.”

Meadows, the Freedom Caucus chairman, told Business Insider on Thursday that the handful of conservative members have been outspoken because a large number of them hold seats on the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform and have unique concerns and insights that members who defend Mueller and Sessions don’t have.

In total, nine of the 24 members of the Oversight Committee are Freedom Caucus members.

“A number of the more conservative members are on Oversight, so we get to see a little bit more clearly the lack of information coming from DOJ and the FBI,” he said.

He also noted that Republican Rep. Devin Nunes of California, who has also worked to counter the Mueller’s investigation as chairman of the House Intelligence Committee, is not among the more conservative group. He praised Nunes as having “done great work” in that regard.

Fighting Mueller is consistent with the viewpoints that got Freedom Caucus members elected

Former Republican Rep. Jason Chaffetz, who served as chairman of the Oversight Committee, agreed with Meadows’ assessment of why his members were so active on this front. Chaffetz, now a Fox News personality, told Business Insider on Friday that the Freedom Caucus’s efforts on fighting Mueller, Sessions, and Clinton are “compatible with their personal, political viewpoints and probably in large part what got them elected.”

Chaffetz added that, at least on the Hillary Clinton front, many of those same Freedom Caucus members who joined him in pushing for further investigations figured that the Trump administration, and Sessions in particular, would further that cause and “accelerate the opportunities to reveal the truth.”

“I think they’re understanding that the ‘deep state’ continues on regardless of who’s in power,” Chaffetz said. “You still have to fight the beast in order to extract truth. And that’s a hard uphill battle, but you have good people like Mark Meadows and Jim Jordan who are helping to lead that charge.”

Chaffetz is set to release a book in September titled “The Deep State: How an Army of Bureaucrats Protected Barack Obama and Is Working to Destroy Donald Trump.”

Asked why more mainstream conservatives haven’t linked up with the Freedom Caucus in their war against the “deep state,” Chaffetz said most of his former colleagues “don’t necessarily want the fight in order to extract the truth.”

“They’re just not prone to it, they have other legislative goals,” he said. “But the Oversight Committee, this is what we do. … Not every member wants to be in that combative role of extracting the truth, and that’s often what it takes.”

‘These guys are political nihilists’

Matt Mackowiak, a Republican strategist and president of the Potomac Strategy Group, told Business Insider that he believes the Freedom Caucus and closely-connected conservatives are not ramping up their efforts in hopes of garnering favor from the White House, but because they really “think the inquiry is tainted by what has been learned.”

“It’s really that simple,” he said. The Freedom Caucus “is a principled group.”

While the Freedom Caucus has made a huge effort to echo Trump on the Russia investigation, they have, at times, been a thorn in the administration’s side when it comes to some of its major legislative pushes, such as on repealing the Affordable Care Act.

Reed Galen, a Republican strategist who formerly served as Sen. John McCain’s deputy campaign manager for his 2008 presidential bid, said there are a couple of reasons why conservatives have rallied behind Trump on this cause.

Among them is that Trump “best represents” what their idea of government should be, and the members “probably really believe in the ‘deep state’ and black helicopters.”

“These guys are political nihilists,” he said. “They don’t believe in government, they don’t like and don’t want to contribute to legislative progress.” This allows them to work “on discrediting the state from their perch within it.”

NOW WATCH: This congressman wants to target the USPS to help stop the opioid crisis

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The robots of CES are a joke

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The robots of the future are, well, still figuring things out.

That was the overwhelming takeaway from CES, the world’s largest tech convention, held this past week in Las Vegas. From a laundry-folding bot that couldn’t fold laundry, to an AI-powered helper that refused to help, to an in-home mechanical maid that kept dropping stuff, the dream of robotic friends making our lives easier is clearly a long way off. 

But apparently no one bothered to communicate that fact to the exhibitors and companies showcasing their latest contributions to the technology-fueled utopian delusion that is CES. Both corporate behemoth and niche manufacturer alike demoed a series of robots that, while (for the most part) slickly packaged, failed to deliver on their core promise — whatever it happened to be.  Read more…

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Visa finally gets on board with optional credit card signatures

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As more and more credit card companies announced an end to the need for signatures on credit and debit card receipts, major player Visa kept holding out. Until today.

Finally, Visa announced Friday it was making signatures “optional” in North America starting in April.

Visa’s move, which keeps signing an option for now, is a little different to MasterCard, Discover, and American Express who are straight-up eliminating the need for something on the dotted line. But it’s essentially dumping signatures unless retailers decide they still want one. Read more…

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Why newbie coders should start with Python

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Learning how to code is all the rage these days. It pays well, it’s in high demand, and it exposes you to tons of hidden jokes in the show Silicon Valley. Many professional coders recommend starting with the Python language due to its simple syntax, power, and sheer flexibility (it’s used in everything from web apps to e-commerce platforms.) Get your feet wet with this online course on Python for Beginners. Read more…

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Learn the ins and outs of real estate with this 40-hour series of online classes

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Heads up: All products featured here are selected by Mashable’s commerce team and meet our rigorous standards for awesomeness. If you buy something, Mashable may earn an affiliate commission.

Buying a home is one of the most significant decisions you’ll ever make. Jobs come and go, and new phones come out every year, but purchasing a home is one of those once-in-a-blue-moon financial investments. Whether you’re looking to buy personal or commercial real estate, you need to have a firm understanding of the mortgage process so you can get the right deal for you. There are many great ways to learn about mortgages like the Mortgage & Real Estate Investment Bundle. Read more…

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How to keep the resistance going in 2018, even when you’re impossibly tired

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I was listening to The Read recently — it’s my favorite podcast — and I was struck by co-host Kid Fury’s observations about reaching the end of the year and feeling tired. 

I posted how I felt on Instagram: “Can’t add one more plan tired. Hard to get excited about exciting things tired. Can’t project, assume, or read minds tired. I’m letting myself be tired, be imperfect, be how I am. It is time to hibernate and make meaning of this year, understand the lessons.”

Five hundred people gave it a heart within a few hours. People reached out to me to say they are also tired — exhausted, really. Falling out in meetings, losing things, fighting with loved ones, letting hopelessness have our tongues.  Read more…

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JPMorgan lost $143 million on a single trading client in the fourth quarter (JPM)

James Dimon, Chairman of the Board and Chief Executive Officer of JPMorgan Chase & Co, attends the Paris Europlace International Financial Forum in Paris, France, July 11, 2017. REUTERS/Gonzalo FuentesThomson Reuters

  • In an already wonky quarter, JPMorgan reported taking a $143 million loss in its equities trading department from one single client.
  • The department had strong equities performance apart from that one client loss.

After accounting for effects from tax reform, JPMorgan posted a solid quarter, announcing earnings of $1.69 share Friday.

Its trading business, expectedly, declined — fixed income revenues dropped 27% after including effects from tax reform.

But it was the equities team that posted the most interesting figure: It took a $143 million loss from a single client.

Apart from that hit, the equities business actually had a solid performance. Here’s what JPMorgan said about the peculier loss in its earnings presentation (emphasis ours):

“Equity Markets revenue was flat compared to a strong prior year and included the impact of a mark-to market loss of $143 million on a margin loan to a single client. Excluding the mark-to-market loss, Equity Markets revenue was up 12%, driven by strength in Prime Services, Cash Equities and corporate derivatives.”

We expect to hear more after JPMorgan reports earnings to investors and takes their questions.

NOW WATCH: The 5 issues to consider before trading bitcoin futures

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Augmented reality windows are here to turn you into a life-sized hologram

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Augmented reality doesn’t need to be confined to your phone screen or a pair of glasses — it can be life-sized.

That’s what one company is proving with its massive augmented reality windows that let you view mixed reality without donning a headset or firing up a special app.

Called DeepFrame, the massive curved displays create life-sized projections that appear as if they are overlaid onto the world around you. 

Created by Danish company RealFiction, the displays are surprisingly simple. Each one consists of a single piece of clear 64-inch glass that’s made with specially designed optics that are able to reflect an image that’s projected from a normal display, like a television or monitor.  Read more…

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