A woman’s tactic for deflecting unwanted attention from guys at the gym has gone viral for all the right reasons

fitness weight lifting weightlifting workout gym exercise womanShutterstock

  • A Twitter user shared a recent experience at the gym which has gone viral.
  • She witnessed a girl pretend she had just farted in order to get a guy who had approached her and her friend to leave them alone.
  • Tweet has been shared over 22,000 times and received over 130,000 likes.

American author Olivia Cole, who uses the Twitter handle @RantingOwl, shared a situation she witnessed at the gym with her followers — and it has certainly got people talking.

Cole, who is from Louisville, Kentucky, said she was at the gym when a guy approached two young women — and they came up with a creative way to deflect his unwanted attention.

Tweet Embed:
GUYS. Just now. In gym.

*guy approaches two women working out, with flirtatious eyebrows at the ready*

Girl 1: UH you might not want to come over here, dude. I just farted. It’s bad.

Guy: *looks horrified. leaves.*

Girl 2: omg did you really?

Girl 1: psh no.

Cole added that the girl in question was only 21 years old.

The message has been retweeted over 22,000 times and received over 130,000 likes. It has prompted an outpouring of comments and congratulatory memes from users.

Tweet Embed:

People have been applauding the girl’s tactic…

Tweet Embed:
Girl 1 is my hero!Tweet Embed:
SheroTweet Embed:
Incredible 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻Tweet Embed:
Epic. She should teach seminars. We could all learn from her.

…And posting plenty of memes in support.

Tweet Embed:
Oh hells yes Embed:
I will eat the hugest bowl of cheddar-smothered broccoli, beans, & rice before every workout if this works even HALF of the time. Someone verify this for me.

Not everyone was convinced the situation actually happened, though.

Tweet Embed:
I’ll take didn’t happen for 200.Tweet Embed:
Didn’t happen. Blocked.

There have also been some more concerned reactions to Coles’ tweet, including comments from users who said they could relate to the situation and were ready to put this new tactic into action out of sheer necessity.

Tweet Embed:
I’m SO doing this. Had guy approach me to tell me my form was “off” & if I did it his way, I’d also be working my abs to lose my belly. I held out my dumbbell & he nearly fell over taking it. He left it on floor & I said, “I’m pregnant. I lift everyday.” Haven’t seen him since.Tweet Embed:
@ecastle_22 if this isn’t me nothing isTweet Embed:
@maddier23220 this is ligit youTweet Embed:
I’m telling my daughter to use this line!Tweet Embed:
@beejyb this is 100% our gym plan. 😂😂😂Tweet Embed:
@uakatie new tacticTweet Embed:
I actually just joined there, because my previous gym was so bad that I had to file a complaint against an EMPLOYEE….who still works there. My sit-down w/ their new GM did nothing.

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The way a narcissist’s brain works can help unravel whether they mean to hurt their partners or not

woman mirrorAli Marel / Unsplash

  • Being in a relationship with a narcissist is hard work.
  • They are very insecure and sensitive people, which means they can take offence very easily.
  • This can end up in couples having the same arguments over and over again.
  • Sometimes they are unaware of being abusive to their partners, but other times they will genuinely want to cause them harm.
  • Ultimately, as their partner, you have to decide whether the hard work is worth it for you in the long run.

If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, you will have been through a roller-coaster of ups and downs.

At the beginning, everything would have been wonderful. You might have even thought you’d found your soul mate. But after a while, things started to go sour.

This is because after a few weeks, months, or even years, the narcissist will no longer see any value in you. As soon as they realise you are a real human being, and thus flawed, they struggle to see the use of you any more. They’ll start blaming you for things, shouting at you, or even break up with you, leaving you to try and work out what went wrong.

But for many reasons, it is hard to answer the question: “Do narcissists mean to hurt people?”

Narcissists get offended very easily

Elinor Greenberg, a therapist and author of the book “Borderline, Narcissistic, and Schizoid Adaptations: The Pursuit of Love, Admiration and Safety,” told Business Insider that narcissists are ultra-sensitive by definition.

“Narcissists are self-protective, and they have their antenna out for disrespect, or for someone taking something from them, and underneath they’re very insecure,” she said. “You have a whole range of people who are hyper-sensitive, lack empathy, for one reason or another, they don’t feel bad when you feel bad, so they can hurt you without realising it.”

Despite this, a narcissist’s own feelings can be hurt very easily. Because of their high sensitivity, any small thing their partner does can be seen as an attack, and any situation where they are not their partner’s focus is very difficult for them.

“For whatever reason, you’re seeing a person who is wildly insecure, and has no real inner confidence that they can depend on,” Greenberg said. “They depend on external validation.”

Without this constant validation by their partner, the narcissist isn’t getting what they want, and they end up seeking it elsewhere. This is why many narcissists often end up cheating.

In the heat of a moment, narcissists can come across incredibly cruel. They say things that many people would really struggle to say to someone they supposedly love. Greenberg said this is because of something called “object constancy.”

“Object constancy refers to the ability, if someone does something that disappoints you, to put that in the context of the whole relationship,” Greenberg said. “I may feel hurt and disappointed but I don’t hate you. You’re still the person who’s my dear friend, and it’s in context. If you don’t have object constancy, there is no context.”

In other words, the when the narcissist is shouting at you for whatever they think you did, there are no memories of the good times in their head. They are totally living in the single moment of being furious with you. In that moment, they truly hate you.

“There’s nothing holding it in context that limits it,” Greenberg explained. “So it goes from you were all good and a good person, to I hate you, you want to hurt me. You have hurt me, I must hurt you back.”

Even the smallest rows spiral out of control

Relationships are hard, even if you are with a non-narcissist. All couples have rows and have to navigate the various difficulties of living with another person. But those everyday spats become all the more serious and devastating to a relationship when the person you have them with always sees themselves as the victim. This makes even the tiniest disagreements escalate into full-blown rows, which can be incredibly exhausting for the narcissist’s partner.

“I see women, a number in my practice, who became extremely anxious and depressed, and their capacity to function diminished,” Greenberg said. “They had mental breakdowns, and one was delusional and paranoid, because the person just kept at them and at them, and they didn’t have the defences.”

Sometimes, the narcissist doesn’t mean to hurt you. Being sensitive to everything is just how their brains work. And if they are — by their own logic — being attacked, they will bite back even harder.

However, by their nature, they may also want to hurt you too, because it makes them feel superior.

Whether the relationship is worth it is up to you

In some ways, it isn’t worth working out what their intentions are because the results are the same. People in relationships with narcissists find themselves wrapped up in the same arguments time and time again. This is often followed by the punishment which could be an explosive confrontation, or cold silent treatment, depending on the type of narcissist they are with.

Greenberg has written an article that lays out the best way to approach a narcissist if you are in an argument with them. They think a completely different way, and so arguments have to be de-escalated differently too.

“Don’t expect an apology directly,” she explained. “Use ‘we’ language, and don’t ever ask them to process what happened — they can’t do that.”

Ultimately, it is draining to be in a relationship with a narcissist, and you have to accept the fact they will never empathise with your feelings, no matter how long you are together. Some may learn to be self-aware in time, and learn to notice when they are hurting you. But this still doesn’t guarantee they will care.

“Narcissists are primed to be abusive because they’re so hypersensitive, and they don’t have empathy, and they don’t have object constancy,” Greenberg said. “So they are primed to take offence and be abusive and not really understand… It’s a lot of work for the non-narcissistic mate.”

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Some of the most conservative congressmen are going all-out to fight for Trump against Mueller and the Russia investigation

Robert MuellerAlex Wong/Getty Images

  • President Donald Trump has gotten a huge boost from a handful of conservative House members in his quest to counter special counsel Robert Mueller’s Russia investigation.
  • Many of those congressmen are members of the conservative Freedom Caucus.
  • Freedom Caucus Chairman Mark Meadows told Business Insider that his members have taken the lead on battling Mueller because they have a disproportionate number of their members on a key committee.

While President Donald Trump has spent months seeking to delegitimize special counsel Robert Mueller’s probe, a small group of conservative congressmen has done much of the heavy lifting in combating the investigation.

There’s Republican Rep. Matt Gaetz of Florida, a freshman who is close to the Freedom Caucus and has led the right-wing charge to tear down the special counsel while focusing attention on 2016 Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton and the 2010 Uranium One deal that has garnered much attention in the conservative press. In November, he even helped introduce a high-profile resolution to remove Mueller from the investigation. And he was influential in the effort to call for a second special counsel to investigate Clinton.

Late last year, Gaetz accused Mueller and his team of staging a “coup d’etat” against Trump.

A representative for Gaetz did not return a request for comment from Business Insider.

Meanwhile, Freedom Caucus heavyweights like Reps. Jim Jordan, Mark Meadows, Ron DeSantis, Louie Gohmert, and others have taken aim at Mueller, Clinton, the FBI, the Department of Justice, Attorney General Jeff Sessions, and Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein, providing the White House with much-needed backup. They’ve taken aim at the probe in high-profile congressional hearings, held press conferences to criticize what they characterized as conflicts of interests among investigators working on the probe, and have reiterated some of the president’s favorite talking points, pointing to a “deep state” conspiracy.

Trump himself has taken notice. 

“Great congressmen, in particular, some of the congressmen have been unbelievable in pointing out what a witch hunt the whole thing is,” he told The New York Times last month.

Matt GaetzAP Photo/Steve CannonSome of the congressmen have been in touch with the administration to discuss the probe. Gaetz and DeSantis reportedly discussed the probe with Trump during an Air Force One flight last month. Asked in a CNN interview about whether he has discussed the probe with the administration, Jordan hinted that he talks with the White House “about all kinds of things.”

Meadows, the Freedom Caucus chairman, told Business Insider on Thursday that the handful of conservative members have been outspoken because a large number of them hold seats on the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform and have unique concerns and insights that members who defend Mueller and Sessions don’t have.

In total, nine of the 24 members of the Oversight Committee are Freedom Caucus members.

“A number of the more conservative members are on Oversight, so we get to see a little bit more clearly the lack of information coming from DOJ and the FBI,” he said.

He also noted that Republican Rep. Devin Nunes of California, who has also worked to counter the Mueller’s investigation as chairman of the House Intelligence Committee, is not among the more conservative group. He praised Nunes as having “done great work” in that regard.

Fighting Mueller is consistent with the viewpoints that got Freedom Caucus members elected

Former Republican Rep. Jason Chaffetz, who served as chairman of the Oversight Committee, agreed with Meadows’ assessment of why his members were so active on this front. Chaffetz, now a Fox News personality, told Business Insider on Friday that the Freedom Caucus’s efforts on fighting Mueller, Sessions, and Clinton are “compatible with their personal, political viewpoints and probably in large part what got them elected.”

Chaffetz added that, at least on the Hillary Clinton front, many of those same Freedom Caucus members who joined him in pushing for further investigations figured that the Trump administration, and Sessions in particular, would further that cause and “accelerate the opportunities to reveal the truth.”

“I think they’re understanding that the ‘deep state’ continues on regardless of who’s in power,” Chaffetz said. “You still have to fight the beast in order to extract truth. And that’s a hard uphill battle, but you have good people like Mark Meadows and Jim Jordan who are helping to lead that charge.”

Chaffetz is set to release a book in September titled “The Deep State: How an Army of Bureaucrats Protected Barack Obama and Is Working to Destroy Donald Trump.”

Asked why more mainstream conservatives haven’t linked up with the Freedom Caucus in their war against the “deep state,” Chaffetz said most of his former colleagues “don’t necessarily want the fight in order to extract the truth.”

“They’re just not prone to it, they have other legislative goals,” he said. “But the Oversight Committee, this is what we do. … Not every member wants to be in that combative role of extracting the truth, and that’s often what it takes.”

‘These guys are political nihilists’

Matt Mackowiak, a Republican strategist and president of the Potomac Strategy Group, told Business Insider that he believes the Freedom Caucus and closely-connected conservatives are not ramping up their efforts in hopes of garnering favor from the White House, but because they really “think the inquiry is tainted by what has been learned.”

“It’s really that simple,” he said. The Freedom Caucus “is a principled group.”

While the Freedom Caucus has made a huge effort to echo Trump on the Russia investigation, they have, at times, been a thorn in the administration’s side when it comes to some of its major legislative pushes, such as on repealing the Affordable Care Act.

Reed Galen, a Republican strategist who formerly served as Sen. John McCain’s deputy campaign manager for his 2008 presidential bid, said there are a couple of reasons why conservatives have rallied behind Trump on this cause.

Among them is that Trump “best represents” what their idea of government should be, and the members “probably really believe in the ‘deep state’ and black helicopters.”

“These guys are political nihilists,” he said. “They don’t believe in government, they don’t like and don’t want to contribute to legislative progress.” This allows them to work “on discrediting the state from their perch within it.”

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